Sunday, May 15, 2011

Damon Salvatore - Ian Somerhalder

In a lighter tone, here are the best Damon quotes from both seasons of The Vampire Diaries. Because we all love an over-dose of Damon humour. :) And because Damon is THE best. :D

Caroline: C**ky much?
Damon: VERY much.

Damon: It's cool not growing old. I like being the eternal stud.

Damon: Great gal. She's got spunk. You, on the other hand, look pooped.

Damon: What's so special about this Bella girl? Edward's so whipped!
Caroline: You've gotta read the first book first. It won't make sense if you don't.
Damon: I miss Anne Rice. She was so on it.

Damon: You're dead, dude. Get over it.

Zach: You don't visit, Damon... You appear. Periodically. Reminding me that this isn't my house, that you're only allowing me to live here ... allowing me to live.
Damon: Someone had to mow the lawn.

Damon [to Vicki]: You just don't wanna die, do you?

Damon: I'm getting really bored and impatient; and I don't do bored and impatient

Damon: That girl is gonna thank me for what I did to her.
Elena: Did you thank Katherine?

Damon: Is it skunk? Saint Bernard? Bambi?

Tyler: Screw you, dude.
Damon: Dude? Really? Dude?!?

Elena: If you wanted me dead, I'd be dead.
Damon: Yes.
Elena: But I'm not.
Damon: Yet.

Vicki: You did this to me out of boredom?
Damon: It's one of the pitfalls of eternity.
Damon: She's been couped up in your room all day. She's not Anne Frank.

Damon: Your life is pathetic. Your after-life doesn't have to be.

Elena: You did this. This is your fault.
Damon: You confuse me with someone with remorse.

Damon: Why are you so mean to me?
Lexi: Have you met you?

Damon: I'll adopt the Stefan diet, only nothing with feathers.

Damon: I don't side with anyone. You piss me off. I want you dead.

Damon: Vampires can't procreate... though we love to try.

Bonnie: You tried to kill me.
Damon: But I didn't... does that not count for anything?

Damon: Is she hot?
Jeremy: Yeah, but she can be weird.
Damon: Hot trumps hot.

Damon: The only one I can count on is... me.

Stefan: Anna took Elena.
Damon: Yeah, I got that from your 600 voice-mails.

Damon: I didn't compel you in Atlanta because we were having fun. I wanted it to be real. I'm trusting you. Don't make me regret it

Damon: I have two liters of soccer mom in the fridge.

Damon: If I had a good side, not a way to get on it.

Damon: Turn it up a little bit. It's not annoying yet.

Damon: I haven't hunted a human in... God, way too long.

Stefan: I really liked you better when you hated everybody.
Damon: I still do. I just love that they love me.

Damon: Have I entered an alternate universe where Stefan is fun?

Damon: You probably ingest vervain, right
John: Why don't you take a bite? Find out.

Damon: You're playing house with half a tomb of really pissed off vampire. What did you think was gonna happen?

Damon: You spent the last century and a half being the poster child for Prozac. Now you want me to believe this new you has nothing to do with human blood

Damon: Well, well, he's a liar and a thief.

Damon: Stefan likes puppy blood... little Golden Retriever blood with floppy ears. That's his favorite.

Damon: What did you think you were gonna find? Isobel with a cigar and slippers?

Stefan: Thank you.
Damon: No, Stefan, thank you. You're back on Bambi blood, and I'm the big bad-ass brother again. All is right in the world.

Damon: You successfully cured him of anything interesting about his personality.
Elena: Remember who helped me.
Damon: I hate myself.

Damon: Stefan is different. He wants to be human. He wants to feel every episode of How I Met Your Mother.

Damon: I do believe in killing the messenger. Know why? It sends a message.

Elena : I think you should stop with the flirty little comments and the eye thing you do.
Damon: What eye thing? *doing the eye thing*
Elena: Don't make me regret being your friend.

Damon: It's Founder's Day. I'm here to eat cotton candy and steal your girl.

Damon: You have no sense of humor.
Stefan: I have no sense of Damon humor

Damon: Somewhere along the way, you decided I was worth saving. I wanted to thank you for that.
Elena: You're welcome.

Damon: Katherine wants you dead, there's zero you can do about it. You will be dead.

Bonnie: When we're alone, I'm gonna take you out.
Damon: You need to stop with the witch's brew. You're starting to believe your own press.

Elena: You scared me.
Damon: Just doing my part in the neighborhood watch

Damon [to Stefan]: Are you worried that all the forest animals will band together and fight back? After all, they talk.

Damon: You hated me before and we became friends. It would suck if that was gone forever.

Damon: You know this whole pretending to hate me is getting a little silly.

Elena: You touch her and I swear I'll never speak to you again.
Damon: What makes you think that has any power over me? Cause I took an arrow in the back for you? You are severely overestimating yourself.

Vanessa: Does vervain really work?
Damon: No, not at all.
Vanessa: Can he hear us?
Damon: No, that would be creepy.
Vanessa: Can he read minds too?
Damon: If you wanna see me naked, all you have to do is ask.

Mason: I've heard a lot of great things about you.
Damon: Really? That's weird because I'm a d**k.

Damon: I always pegged you for a lone wolf.
Mason: I'm sure I wasn't half the lady killer you were.

Katherine: Bad day.
Damon: Bad century.

Damon: Mason Lockwood? Werewolf thing aside, the guy's a surfer.

Damon [to Mason]: Katherine will only rip your heart out. Let me do it for her.

Damon: I look at you and I see myself. A less dashing, less intelligent version.

Katherine: Where is Mason?
Damon: He's right beside me. Although, his heart's across the room.

Katherine: So, here we are: the brother who loved me too much and the only who didn't love me enough.
Damon: And the evil slut vampire who only loved herself.

Katherine: Have I mentioned how inconvenient your obsession for me as been?
Damon: You and me both, honey.

Stefan: You're coming with me?
Damon: It's Elena.

Damon: Can we not do the whole road trip bonding thing? The cliche of it all makes me itch.

Damon: Does Elena know you've been drinking blood.
Stefan: I've been drinking hers.
Damon: How romantic

Damon: I need to say it once. You need to hear it. I love you, Elena.

Damon: If I had a dollar for every time some evil vampire surprised me.

Damon: I've been dead before. I got over it.

Elena: Do you think this is funny?
Damon: Yes, Elena, I find hilarity in the lengths I need to go to to save your life

Damon: A) He can't do anything about it and B) what I just said.

Damon: Death happens. We come. We go. The sooner she dies, the better. It's gloomy as hell in here.

Damon [to Rose]: You went on a murderous rampage. It happens.

Damon: I feel, Elena. And it sucks.

Damon: I'm not human. And I miss it. I miss it more than anything in the world. That is my secret.

Andie: So why can't you have her? She's with another man I assume.
Damon: Yeah, but that's not the point. The point it, I'm in love with her. It's driving me crazy. I'm out of control.

Damon: Just stop talking. Just kiss me. Be my distraction.

Brady: Which one of you killed Mason?
Damon: Ah...that would be me.
Brady: Boys, make sure that one suffers

Damon: You brought back John Gilbert? That was your big save Elena move?

Damon: Still waiting for the part where John Gilbert's the answer.

Stefan: I'm sorry about Rose.
Damon: Whatever, I knew the woman for...five minutes.
Stefan: Well, you cared about her after five minutes though. I wonder what that means?
Damon: It means I care, Stefan. It means I'm changing and evolving into a man capable of greatness.

Elena: He just blew in, announced to Jenna that he's my dad and then took off.
Damon: That's public knowledge now?
Elena: Apparently.

Elena: What are we gonna do?
Damon: Kill him.
Elena: Damon...
Damon: I'm joking. Ok, I'm a little serious

Elena: You totally blew her off.
Damon: I'm staying clear of all women at the moment.
Elena: You don't have to be rude.
Damon: Trust me, it's in the best interest of women everywhere.

Damon: You need to stop doing that.
Elena: Doing what?
Damon: Assuming that I'll play the good guy, because it's you who's asking

Damon: First dad duty: gound your daugther, keep her here.

Damon: My new girlfriend. Andie Starr. Action News.
Alaric: It's not called Action News.
Damon: I know. I like just saying it.

Alaric [on Andie]: Just don't killer her, please.
Damon: If I did, who would report her death?

Stefan: Try not to get yourself killed. 
Damon: Yeah. It's been a day for that.

Damon: You get anything out of Elijah?
Alaric: No, it was boring. Of course, Jenna thinks he's charming.
Damon: You sound about jealous. Does he sound about jealous?
Andie: You kind of do.

Stefan: Are you actually gonna be careful for once?
Damon: Yes, I've become you. How tragic for both of us. Gotta run. Have a murder to plan. Busy day.

Damon: So let me guess--in addition to the moonstone, the doppelganger, the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe, you need to find this witch burial ground.
Elijah: Because I feel that we've grown so close, Damon, I'll tell you "yes."

Katherine: You hurt me today.
Damon: Tit for tat.

Damon: I'll be super pissed if you lock me out.

Damon: Don't mistake the fact that we haven't set you on fire in your sleep for trust.

Damon: Great, we’ll have to put that on our list of things to do today. “Harness dead witch power."

Damon: You see, that's why I didn't tell you. Cause you would have never been able to do it. Don't get me wrong, Stefan. I don't mind being a bad guy. I'll make all the life and death desicions, while you're busy worrying about collateral damage. I'll even let her hate me for it. But at the end of the day, I'll be the one to keep her alive.

Damon: You should be thankful she’s here. She’s keeping me from going for what I really want.
Stefan: You’re right. Thank you for being in love with my girlfriend.

Damon: Wow, I'd love to lend you a hand, but, you know, you wouldn't want me doing anything stupid.
Stefan: You're seriously gonna be like this?
Damon: You and your girlfriend are calling the shots. I'm just... backing off, Stefan.

Damon: Somehow you're the only one that wins. How'd that happen?
Katherine: I didn't let love get in the way.
Damon: Enjoy an eternity alone, Katherine.

That's all for now. Over, and out!